Flashback
by Night Creature
Summary: Anya gets her soul sucked from her by a demon. Spike is ropped into doing a spell to save the ex demons life, but as an extra Buffy Summers bonus, Buffy gets to learn first hand about Williams dirty past before his 'bloody awful poet' days. (Finished)
1. Flashback

Flashback moments.  
  
*Written by: Night creature aka Laura  
  
*Status: This story is in the middle of 4th and 5th season. The initiative is gone and Spike doesn't know he loves Buffy yet.  
  
*Rating: PG-13  
  
*Relationships: Some light Buffy/Spike tension.  
  
*Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy nor do I own any of the characters or settings from the Joss Whedon creation 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' the television show. But I can, and did, create my own characters; I'm not completely loony.  
  
Chapter 1:  
  
A village just north of Manchester England: October 9th, 1874:  
  
The sun was shinning bright on the grass in the clearing that day, a cool breeze the only thing interrupting the stillness of the uncommonly good weather of England in the mid afternoon that autumn. Birds chirped in the distance, their sound melding with the sounds of laughter coming from some sort of joyful individual in the distance.  
  
The laugh was a harsh one; obviously male in tone, the birds stopped there bellowing just to listen to the young mans happiness.  
  
Footsteps could be heard now as this man feet quickly crushed the leaves about on the ground between tall trees and bushes.  
  
A young, fairly well kept and dressed man ran forward into the clearing pushing the branches out of the way as he made his way into the grassy clearing. When he had gotten there, and thought no one was chasing him any longer, he stood hunched over slightly with his hand over his stomach trying to catch his breath.  
  
He was still laughing a little, his tan britches and vest covered with dirt, looking as though he had been rolling around in the dirt enough just to get a little dusty.  
  
He looked back as he again as he heard noises, warning of an attack. He continued walking onward cautiously trying to make as little noise, despite the foliage, as possible.  
  
The branches from behind him moved again like before and out came a young blond girl, dressed just as nicely in formal wear as the man had been a moment ago. The wrinkles and specks of dirt in the gown suggested that they were both engaging in the same activity. She grabbed either side of her dress and picked it up hurriedly, catching up with the man with not trouble and pulling him back by his short, but in style, ponytail. "William!" she cried out, half laughing. "Why do you run.silly boy."  
  
He turned his head as far as he could to look back to the friend who was now nearly painfully hurting his hair." Because I don't want you to kill me of laughter pet!"  
  
The girls face suddenly scrunched up at the words, but she did not falter. Her hands moved swiftly to tickle his sides. William started to laugh again.  
  
William had always thought that Lilith had been this way; the girly that was always trying to be the amusing one with her damned little tricks and games to play on him. Tickling was one of her favorites, he had to admit it was one of his too, but it always ended in the same way with her punching him to the ground once she had had her fill of torture for the day. It was quite playing on his emotions. talk about hard to get.  
  
No sooner had this thought of pain from Lilith's fist cross his mind, then did she do just that.  
  
William fell to the ground and slammed his head to the grass with a thud, his hand up by his chest as he tried the best he could to rub the ache away. "Ow?" He bellowed, one of his dark eyebrows rising questionably to her as she continued to giggle.  
  
She glanced down at him teasingly the way most girls do when they are with the ones they adore. "Sorry, but." She sat down gracefully beside him, dress flaring. "Your so much more vulnerable on the ground." A slight smile spread across her playful expressions.  
  
Even though she loved him dearly, she hadn't told him as much, but he had to know the truth didn't he?  
  
William shook his head regretfully, sitting up straight. "Well, now that I've let you ravage me all buggered, maybe you'll now be more fit to agree to let me take you to that spring festival this evening?" The ting of hopefulness in his voice was hard to deny. But young girls face diminished into a frown anyway. She laid her hand on the dress before her.  
  
"William, you know that we can't do that. Why do you keep asking me that question if you'll know what the answer will be?"  
  
" Because I'm stubborn and I don't bloody well care what other people think. Lily I love you."  
  
"William you're a fool, we can't! Don't you understand.we're different."  
  
"Lily, I tolds you, calls me Will. And we're not all that different. Class class class is all I heard from, you. My love doesn't care about wealth or status.it only cares about you, nothing else matters to me." He sighed, "It's bad enough I can only see you two times a week when we go to chapel, and then we have to hide. Is nothing I say going to convince you otherwise that my love is real? I know what your thinking. I'm not out for your bloody money for Christ sake."  
  
"William, please understand that I know your love is real and your not out for anything other then my affection. but father would never see you the way I do. He's as stubborn as you are, he wants me to be with this wealthy land owner.not a writer like you are."  
  
"Poet Lily.I want to be a poet! And calls me Will. We've been seeing each other for months now and you still call me by my complete name. Only my mother does that."  
  
"I know I call you by your full name. I guess.. I guess I think that if I do that.. And don't get too attached to you it will make it easier when I have to one day tell you that I can't see you again. I know it'll happen, why can't you see it too? William your blinded by your passions, will you ever love someone else as deeply? Can't you?"  
  
"Never, there is no one else like you Lily, please.let me take you to the festival, let Your father see my devotion, let them see how right we are for one another.please."  
  
The girl sighed in defeat, William would never understand, stupid boy. Her father had chosen another man for her to court. Her father only wanted the best for his little girl after all, and she could understand that, but never forget about her dear sweet William. She loved him so much. but now look where love had gotten her. Whom was she frolicking around with after mass? A commoner; a hansom boy yes, but also a wonderfully charming and delightfully honest boy whom had captured her heart. But sadly enough, her brain had decided for her, that her loving heart had misguided somewhere along the road.  
  
Lilith knew that she would be doomed to live a middle-class life if William did not make something of himself, wealthy, like her father wanted. But would that have been so bad?  
  
Sure she had only known him for only three months now, but what a three months those had been. Though, to be fair, in all that time she had learned nothing of his future plans other then that he was going to move to London shortly with his mother and become a 'poet.' A poet!  
  
When she had asked him about these plans of his, he had asked her in reply to simply come with him to London, but she had declined, and ever since then he had been asking her to go to this damned festival for the harvest. Oh, sometimes this boy made her so frustrated. "My father asked me to go with another lad William.and I have said yes."  
  
Oh her heart ached saying that just then.  
  
The Poet scowled a moment, otherwise taking things very calmly, and then spoke up. "Who? I would think it fair for me to ask and know after all."  
  
"I dun know him, all I know is that he's wealthy.and an upper-class, blue- blooded snoop. My father assures me that I will grow to like him.but."  
  
"But what?"  
  
"But you see.I."Another voice rang out near by.  
  
"Lilith!" It was her father's voice. The pair looked at one another and quickly stood up.  
  
She whispered. " It's father, he can't see me with you.I must go."  
  
William held her back. " But what were you going to say?"  
  
Her father again." Lilith! Time to go dear!" The voice now had authority in it.  
  
"I." She looked back and forth between her lover and her maker. ".I have to go." The girl picked up her dress and yanked her hand away giving a small peck on Williams cheek before running off in the direction they had come from. She disappeared into the brushes.  
  
William simply sat and rubbed his cheek.  
  
Well, on a high note, maybe he was making progress after all. 


	2. Flashback2

Chapter 2  
  
"Giles!" Xander carried a woman in his arms, she lay limb and lifeless as a rag doll.  
  
"Xander?" The watcher took one look at Anya in the boy's embrace and walked over quickly to his assistance. "What happened?"  
  
" I .I dunno Giles." Hurriedly the brunette rushed over to the table in the center of the Magic shop, pushing a large arrangement of candles out of the way to make room. The wax landed to the ground in a shattered heap, but he didn't seem to notice. " It.It came out of no where and just snatched a hold of her arm like some sort o. of bug or.it was a demon but I didn't recognize it. God I hate demons.'sept when she was one.oh!"  
  
As the young man talked, Giles gave Anya a basic physical examine. Eyelids, pulse on the wrist, breathing, pulse on the neck.  
  
" She ok?" He continued to check without falter. "Giles?'  
  
The watcher laid Anya's hand back to the table carefully and looked up to Xander. "She's alive.but."  
  
"But? But what? No buts!"  
  
"Dammit all! I'm afraid I've seen this before Xander." Giles fixed his glasses as he walked over to a bookshelf to grab an old worn out leather bound book.  
  
"Wait, so you know what's going on right? You can fix this, she's going to be ok right?"  
  
With a distressing look to the worried lad, Giles next flipped through the pages in the book, looking for one passage in particular. When he finally arrived at the page he was looking for, he read out loud so that he may accumulate the answers he needed for both himself and Xander. It was also a soothing thing for him, liking to read. His voice was serious." The demon that.um.'got' her was a type of soul capturing demon if you will. You rarely see these types of demons anymore, most have fled into other demon realms, I'm actually quite astonished that they still roamed in this part of the world. Anyway, they feed on the purity and the energy that only a human soul can give. They can feed on.da.days on end you see. Anya is alive.but she's in a sort of limbo to be precise. She'll.her soul.will keep getting weaker and weaker until it's gone completely and she dies. The good news is.since she was once demon, her soul may not taste to good. if you get my meaning. But the only way, if any, if we hope to save her for sure is to find the demon and kill it.OR find her soul in the nether realm and thus bring it back to her body and starving the demon."  
  
"Ok.anyone that didn't just get that raise their hand." He raised his hand comically, but his face was actually quite serious. He, being who he was, normally wouldn't use that type of sarcasm to get his point across, and the joke was also rather old and used so saying it at all was quite pointless, but on the inside he was admittedly worried. He was almost to the point of insanely frightened for his girlfriend, so comedic relief wasn't on the top of his priority's list OK? "So your saying we just kill this demon and she's fine?"  
  
"Yes Xander, but it's a little bit more difficult then all that you see, the demon only arises once every twenty years or so to find a new food source, according to this book. It'll just go back to its lair or hiding place and stay there.feeding almost telepathically until the victim dies. Unless you know exactly where to find this demon, the only way to help Anya at all is to pull her soul back and starve the demon. Capturing her arm, like you said, was only the first step in feeding process, now it must drain which gives us time thankfully."  
  
"So we can kill it.good." Xander stomped off towards the phone. " I'll call Buffy."  
  
"Xander.we may need more help then that." 


	3. Flashback3

Chapter 3  
  
October 10th, 1874:  
  
The festival wasn't as bad as he had first pictured it. A few lights, some music, some people making money on there homemade pies, people dancing and walking about as they chattered pointlessly about the SELFISH NEEDS! Involved persons were holding hands and smiling at one another as they strolled about merrily. Odds fish! It was exactly as bad as he had first pictured it.  
  
Night had fallen all but a half an hour ago and the town's square was filled with patrons of all sorts, some buying, some selling, and some happy couples just getting on his nerves. William couldn't.or wouldn't, or wasn't going to let him self be concerned with the matters of festivities. He wasn't there to enjoy himself; he was only there because he knew Lilith would be. Also he wanted to see this blue blooded pillock but that was beside the point.  
  
He knew in his heart that this had to be the right choice, coming here. William scoffed just then, thinking. God he sounded like some lovesick, thick idiot.  
  
He stood at the corner of the two streets just a block from the festivities. His back lay casually against the hard wood of the street sign as his eyes passed in apprehension from one end of the walk way to the other. He had been there for hours. He noticed people were arriving to the yearly festival in all kinds of different ways. Carriages, some walks, some on horse back, but it had surprised William most of all, that Lilith was yet to make an appearance. Not in a white horse drawn thing. not on the back of some gallant steed, nothing that would suit her demure. He was sure if she had arrived by now he would have noticed. but nothing. Where could she have been? Maybe she was still home getting ready.  
  
He wished he could check to be sure but of course, that was strictly forbidden. Lilith lived in a large mansion a few blocks away; he couldn't possibly go. More importantly over so though, like before, he was still just a middle class lad of no importance.  
  
Yes.. not important.. don't go.. don't go.  
  
Ten minutes later.he was walking up to her street.  
  
Ok, the plan seemed simple enough in his head. In, out.that was all there was to it. Nothing more, he was just checking to see if she was all right. He had to know.  
  
Sadly, he knew where her room was. You couldn't really call it stalking. He had offhandedly followed her home one-day and seen that her room was on the farthest east corner of the mansion. It was completely blameless.  
  
The large house itself, which he could now see, sat among the many other buildings in that street, but it was white with a dark roof... he remembered it well. It was a very luxurious place as far as he could tell from the outside. He had never gone in, but the clean marble and stone carriageway with a picket fence was enough to convince him that what lied within couldn't have been that dreadful.  
  
He walked from the main street to what he thought was her room, noticing as soon as he had gotten a close enough view that not many lights or lamps were lit. Hopefully he had not just missed her going on her way already. God, that's all he needed now, to have just missed her. If he had done that...  
  
But no, that couldn't be because... there, on the very east corner of the building he had first thought her room to be a light was on and brightly filling her room. But this bothered him even more, why wasn't she off and having fun with the rest? It didn't seem right. Something was going to happen tonight and the powers that be were telling him NOT to go. The small voice in the back of his head said 'no.'  
  
He ignored this voice.  
  
It was obvious she was still in her room, then again it was none of his business. But what was he supposed to do? Walk away? He would never walk away if it meant she would be happy and safe. He loved her so much and he had never felt this way about anyone.ever. He had fallen deep, hadn't his mother warned him about this? He worried about her all the time. Lily was a fragile young beautiful girl who didn't know how brutally harsh the real world could be. She was tame and papered and.spoiled.yes. but still a wonderful girl at heart. He knew the real her and not the mask she put on for the others.her family.  
  
Slowly and extremely quietly he crept up to the side of her large window doorway. He kept behind the bushes as he looked in. What he saw...he couldn't even hope to comprehend.  
  
Once William had heard the snap of a hand against flesh and Lilith cry out in pain as she fell to the floor, nothing but red. 


	4. Flashback4

Chapter 4  
  
"What, what do we need...?" Xander was still panicked, he dialed Buffy's dorm phone and quickly looked to the watcher as the phone rang.  
  
Giles complied. " We need four people.. And some .well.it's complicate." He was cut off.  
  
"Yeah! Hi Buff! Gosh, I'm glad you're at the dorm.Anya, she's."  
  
Giles stood, slightly annoyed and even tempted to pluck the phone right from the boy's hand at the moment, but knew better. He would win this battle easily.  
  
The slayer voice could be heard through the phone, she sounded tired. "Xander, it's 11:24 at night, what happened to Anya? What's wrong?"  
  
"A demon.something.your going to have to ask Giles' about it. I'm the one calling though, and I'm calling in to say that I want you to come with me to chop this thing up into little bit-sized fish and chips parts. You should'a seen it Buffy. it's got 'I'm waiting to be served as lunch meat' written all-  
  
"Wow, hold on Xander, let's not go all 'first blood' here until we know what's what. Where are you?"  
  
"Magic shop, I brought An here when it happened."  
  
"Ok, Ok put Giles on."  
  
"But.?"  
  
"Xander."  
  
Xander rolled his eyes and reluctantly gave the British guy the phone. The watcher just grinned in conquest, as if he had won the battle. Plucking the phone from Xanders hand and looking to the Magic box's front door, he began to confer. "Buffy?"  
  
"Right here Giles.what happened, why is Xander so wigged?"  
  
" He was there when it happened and I believe it may have shocked him a bit. He seems very willing to go out and kill this demon himself. As for Anya... she's, well the point is she's alive but we'll need to work fast. If Anya is going to survive this were going to have to do a.well, a spell to find her soul again."  
  
"Ok, then I'll get Will and we'll come on over. You have everything you need for the spell in the magic shop right?"  
  
"Well, yes.. and no."  
  
"Giles, you not making this easy. remember, blond?  
  
"Yes, quite.. what we need are specific people to do the actual spell itself. This particular spell requires ummm." He flipped through the pages of an old book speedily... EVEN for a librarian "Umm, yes, here. 'The four, two of blood through which the power flows and two of mortal blood whose power lies within."  
  
She took a long. long pause. " A huh."  
  
The watcher sighed. " What it's saying Buffy is that we need four people. two need to be supernatural. For once I don't need you to fight, I need you to focus.for Anya sake."  
  
"OK, so I got the deal, you me and Will and Xander do the spell and Wa La.Anya's ok?"  
  
"It's not that simple."  
  
"I hate it when you say that."  
  
"We'll need two supernatural beings."  
  
"Yeah, me and Will, what's the prob?"  
  
"But Willow doesn't have the kind of power you do Buffy, hers doesn't lie within the blood, her power as a Wicca lies within her beliefs and mind. Her and I will be the two mortals and you will be one of the powerful whose power lies within the blood. After all, you were born with these powers, it would seem logical."  
  
"OK OK, but I'm still a little fuzzy on getting everything. If it's only me, you, and Will.then who can we get with ' power in the blood.' that can do it too?" 


	5. Flashback5

Chapter 5  
  
October 10th, 1874:  
  
With one fist raised, William ran forward and stuck the man's right cheek with a powerful crake. Who ever it was, fell to the ground below and hit his head on the corner of a coffee table near by. The man was out cold and going to be that way for a while.  
  
Lilith was still crying behind the other side of the bed unknowing of the circumstances that had just occurred not even two feet away.  
  
William shook his hand, not even thinking about the fact that he had never before done anything that rash before in his entire life, and walked of to his love swiftly. He was kneeling beside her instantaneously, laying his hand out on top of her gently for reassurance and comfort.  
  
At first Lilith nervously pulled away, still thinking it was the man who had assaulted her. But once she saw who it really was, she cried out in joy and wrapped her arms around her lover's neck. She held him as close as possible as if she needed him as she needed air.  
  
Then, as suddenly as she had grabbed him, she pulled away and promptly slapped him across the face.  
  
William, at a lost for words, only sat there with his head turned a moment before looking back at her. "Ow?"  
  
She spook harshly. "You have any idea'r who you just hit William?"  
  
He rose and eyebrow, getting somewhat confused, and nervous. He had never hit anyone before in his life. Now thinking about it. he wasn't sure he really wanted to do it ever again the way this conversation looked to be going.  
  
"You've just hit the most wealthy cotton mill owner in this entire town..." Her eyes brightened up and she smiled as wide as she could. ".and I couldn't be happier!" She hugged him again, this time making it last only a tad longer then the last one.  
  
William didn't know what had just happened with the slap, but now that she was hugging him, he suddenly didn't care.  
  
Liliths emotions where mixed and she didn't know whether to be mad or insanely happy, so she choose do act upon both. Her tears ran down her cheeks and absorbed into his vest. She started to whisper. "He's the one I told you about... and if he finds out who you are..." She pulled away and looked William in the eyes. "Oh William, he's got such a horrid tempter. He'll most likely shot you at this rate. You've got to get out of here before he wakes up from that... wallop you gave 'em."  
  
"Not without you. Lil, come back with me to London!"  
  
"I...I...can't...I..." She looked back and forth between the man on the ground and her love, her gaze finally landing on her only true love, William. "Yes, I'll go." They embraced each other again, this time quicker then before and stood up together hand in hand.  
  
Behind the bed, the dark haired man was almost back to full conciseness. His eyes slowly blinked a few times, his fingers twitched.  
  
William smiled and nodded his head towards the window. "Come on. Let's go."  
  
Lilith nodded, looking back to her drawers and thinking how offal it would be to just leave all of her clothes to never be worn or seen again. She couldn't bring them with her? She reached out, gesturing that she wanted to go back and get some things. "Can't I just...?"  
  
"No Lily..." He pulled her with him. " We'll send for them later, now we have to..."  
  
"You're not going anywhere." A voice spoke up; it was older, deeper, male, and it certainly wasn't Williams's. The man behind the bed stood to his feet as his hand went to the back of his head. The dark haired man hissed painfully as he pulled his left palm away from the back of his skull. His eyes stared at the bright red liquid staining that palm before looking up again at the two.  
  
Panic-stricken, that's what William was.  
  
Quickly, and unwisely, William grabbed Liliths hand and pulled her behind his back. He was blocking her from this other man. who also frightened him very much as well.  
  
William wanted to run, his heart was racing and his face was hot from the adrenaline. He stepped back, his eyes never leaving the hold he had with the other man's eyes.  
  
Lilith just then squeezed her love's hand tightly once for encouragement and support, but it only acted as permission to follow his instincts. As much as he would have loved to stay for an introduction, William turned his back and ran as fast as he could.  
  
He pulled Lilith behind him by the arm as he sped forward into the backyard.  
  
It was all a blur really, if William hadn't been so scared he probably would have seen the error of what he was doing.  
  
The couple ran fast into the yard, Lilith was a fast runner but not nearly as fast as William and he pulled her along like a little child. His fingers tightened around her hand as he began to see the road not far away. Overwhelmed by a sense of triumph, he smiled seeing the finish line.  
  
Unexpectedly, a wild crake sound was heard in the skys above.  
  
Williams first clue that something was wrong was that Lilith was slowing to a halt. The blond fool spun his head around and nudged Liliths arm forward looking to her concerned.  
  
She was smiling. Smiling?  
  
She stood still in the wet grass with a relived look on her face before collapsing to the earth. He body limb, she turned sideways as she feel to her knees, her head hitting the wet grass with a soft pound.  
  
Face pointed up to the sky and stilled, a look of clarity evident in her eyes, she continued to smile.  
  
William fell down to his knees next to her straightaway "Lily?" He uttered, putting a hand to her waist not sure as to what had happened but having some vague idea.  
  
He didn't want to believe it. The idea was frightening so he ignored it, now in denial.  
  
Robert stood, frozen as a statue, a gun held up in the air by his side. He hadn't meant to do that! It was an accident; he had meant to shoot the boy, not her. He ran back into the house...there was still time to call a surgeon.  
  
The small girls eyes opened, but only slightly. They were shifting back and forth between William and the starry night sky beyond. She opened her mouth as she felt the blood from her wound in her chest spilling out into the ground beneath her. Her heart was slowing ... it had never done that before...it felt weird, she spook so soft. "Will, I never got to..." but she didn't get to finish, her heart had stopped and her expression went clear as her voice disappeared into the wind. Lilith stared past him, her face frozen and no longer looking at anything, not even young William.  
  
The strawberry blond shock his head and whispered. " No ...no. 'Lil." He shook her shoulders and pulled his hand up, his finger were red. He looked at them a second and then back to the dead body. His voice got louder. " Lila? Lily?" He shook her one last time. "Lilith!" 


	6. Flashback6

Chapter 6  
  
"Bloody 'ell!" Spikes head slammed up against the stone pillar in his crypt. He winced once before glaring at the slayer profusely, her fingers wrapped tightly around his small neck.  
  
"Shut up." Pause. "I need your help."  
  
"Oh, well, in that case, since you put my un-life in jeopardy so adequately.no."  
  
Her grip tightened. "Seriously, Anya's in trouble and we don't have much time."  
  
"And what makes you think I'd give a flying sod what ' appenes to the talkative ex demon girly?"  
  
" You care, because I can pay you to act like you care."  
  
"Always did consider I had a flare for acting. Should' a been in show business."  
  
"You, acting? Please."  
  
" See how far that kind of talk will get you when I win me an Oscar. I'll be sure to make sure I exclude you from my: 'I'd like to thank all the little people' speech."  
  
"Enough."  
  
"Hey, watch the coat!" 


	7. Flashback7

Chapter 7  
  
London, 1308 Bovelo drive.  
  
Mary Baker's Psychiatric treatment and understanding:  
  
November 12th, 1880:  
  
"Yes, it's hard to get over traumatic experiences like the one you've been through William, but I think that if your insistent on reliving that 'occurrence' that happened almost six years ago, that you will never move on. I think the up-most healthiest thing for you to do is to find one more, someone new to confine in who is just as special as Lilith was." The room was illuminated in sun light from a near by window, an odd day Mary decided, it being so bright this time of year. A storm must be coming she was sure of it. After all, it never got this brilliant outside without something bad coming next. as it also was with life.  
  
The boy sitting on her couch, William had been in her office for nearly two hours, the time was almost up and he had been talking about his past again, she had also done a far amount of talking herself but that was to be expected.  
  
William looked up, an eyebrow raised over the rim of his spectacles as he lay back against the red velvet couch.  
  
From his point of view, this woman had been talking for nearly an hour now about how it wasn't his fault and how things would change in time eventually as all things do. He had heard this spiel again and again from family and it was getting tiresome.  
  
It had been six years since Lilith's death and the pain was still there. After 'Lilith Marie Donagan' had been shot to death that night, Robert, the other man, had been tried and convicted for her murder. Because of all his wealth, however, he got off easy with a few years in jail and a slap on the wrist.  
  
William, on the other hand, although not tried for her death, was still agonizing over her demise years after, possibly even semi-repressing the experience to the point of near mental illness.  
  
Truthfully, since that night six years before, he had secretly slipped into a sort of solvent nature. He hadn't even looked upon another girl since that night, what was the point after all?  
  
But then there was Sicily.  
  
All of a sudden he didn't know what to think and now he found himself jabbering on to a doctor about his thoughts on the matter. Maybe Mary Baker could help after all, she was the professional right?  
  
She seemed to genuinely care about him, she wasn't at all demanding and, he decided, she defiantly had potential. The diploma on the wall was a good sign too.  
  
She looked like she had been in this profession for nearly 10 years now, give or take. She used a pad of paper and a pen and jolted things down on it every so often, it didn't bother him as much as he though it should have.  
  
William, now at twenty-four, replied softly, his spectacles falling against the bridge of his nose precariously as he talked. "No one will replace Lil doc, I know that for a fact, problem is that.well, I have found someone else, but I don't think I'll ever look at her the same way."  
  
" Oh, so you've met someone new have you?" Again she jolted something down quickly.  
  
He continued." Yes, I. I can't stop thinking about her though," It was the truth. "Sometimes it drives me simply up the wall just seeing her walk into a room .and then I can't breath, all I can do is make a few sounds, and then I have to shut my gob."  
  
She smirked. "Tell me about her a little would you?" Mrs. Baker leaned forward to listen, the chair she sat on creaked ever so slightly as the wooden frame strained to compensate for the weight shift.  
  
" Not much to tell, actually she goes to all these parties with her brother hosting, there's one tonight in port a fact. I'm invited, but only because her younger sister fancies me."  
  
"What's the girls name, the one whom you like?"  
  
He sighed dramatically and leaned his head up against the pillow of the couch, the ceiling had some stains on it, wonder where those had come from? "Her names Sicily, and she has an older brother named Fredrick and a younger sister named Sarah. I wouldn't be going to these celebrations except that I know that she'll, Sicily, will be there. Frankly I'd rather be home and reading a good book, but I'll go tonight anyway like I always do. They've been having them, parties, all this week since Fredrick is back shortly from schooling in Preston. I've only gone to two, yesterday and the day before. Most of the time I just sit and watch." He chuckled at his own words lightly, it sounded as though he pitied himself.  
  
" So you say that the younger sister has a liking to you?"  
  
She was changing the subject now, why? "Yes but Sarah's quite younger you see, it's the only reason I'm invited, I only like to go because I know Sicily will be there. Most of her schooling mates, they're very. discourteous."  
  
"What about those friends of Sicily's?"  
  
"There rude and intolerable most of the time. They gave me a name a while back as a joke and it's stayed with me. It's because of my writings you know."  
  
"Writings? Oh, Poems, that's right, you had mentioned something about poems in our last season, what is it about your poems that would make them give you a name?"  
  
" Well, I'll admit, my poems are not very good, but I only write them because it's the way I feel. It helps sometimes to get them down on paper."  
  
" Yes, I think it's a very healthy manner of expression and I urge you to keep at it. If I may inquire thought William, what's the name they call you, if you don't mind my asking." She sounded very timid, like she was afraid to ask.  
  
He only smirked slightly, lifting his head to flicker away a stand of blond hair, he replayed boldly." William the bloody." He didn't sound proud, but already knew what her response would be like.  
  
" Oh, my."  
  
" No it's not what you think, really, they call me it because of my, as they say, 'Bloody awful poetry.'" he rolled his eyes for effect. "I've heard them talk behind my back and such, they knaves at best. most of the time. I think me being at Sicily's parties embarrasses her."  
  
" I'm sure it doesn't William, you're a very intelligent man and if she doesn't see all the good in you that I do then I think it is she who is losing out, but." She looked down at her pad of paper. " You said you'll be going to one of those parties tonight is that correct?"  
  
He nodded solemnly, sitting up; it was almost time to go.  
  
" I think that tonight, if you see Sicily, you should tell her how you feel about her."  
  
" I don't usually talk to her. I'm chummy with her younger sis and brother some what, but I've always admired her from afar. It's not my style to just walk up and blurt out my feelings. Hens why I write them down?"  
  
" Well, I think you should change your policy then, for tonight, carpe diem 'seize that day.'"  
  
The blond haired lad nodded and stood up with that." Ok, whatever you say, maybe this party won't be as bad as all that after all." His hopes were rising, and then they fell quickly. "Although, I have to admit, I'm a bit nervous now. I wish you could be there to tell me what to do and what to say. I'm always saying the wrong things you know."  
  
"I know it's hard, but I believe in you. And I also believe that a person should find his or her own path. Remember, if you ever need to talk, anytime, day or evening when my office is open, come, and don't be shy. You'd be surprised what you can obtain if you only want it bad enough. Do you want it?"  
  
" Yes." He wanted it so much it hurt when he thought he couldn't have it.  
  
" Then go, and find you path William. That is my two shilling advice for the day to you." 


	8. Flashback8

Chapter 8  
  
"You know, I spend a hundred years terrorizing cities in Europe. A little massacre, some bloodshed, bundles of brawls.and now look where I am; sitting around with you blighters with a bowl of incense ready to chat the mystical Powers That Be to be bring a girly, who I couldn't even stand when she was awake, out of her bed-y time. I'm willing to go out on a limb and say my unlife has had a significant downfall."  
  
"Shut up Spike. Now," The Slayer sat down in her white circle that had been previously dawn on the wooden lacquered floor of the magic shop, her spot was between the two males, Giles and Spike. "We ready?"  
  
The watcher nodded, " Well, if Xanders already on his way to the.um, place where the occurrence.. um.well, occurred and everything is in order I believe we'll start as soon as possible." He glanced over at the red headed witch who nodded back in response."  
  
The blond vampire started to complain again. " Have I mentioned.?"  
  
They all looked up. " Shut up, Spike!" the three said in unison. He quickly did as told. At least he was getting paid for this. Normally he'd be doing no such thing unless otherwise motivated.  
  
I mean, really, the scourge of the European underworld chanting with a load of goodies to summon the mystical powers? Dru would have been laughing hysterically at him if she had seen this. Actually, if she weren't already hysterical in the first place, she'd be laughing anyway.  
  
Spikes place, in conjunction with everyone else in the sacred circle, was between Willow and Buffy; Rupert sat opposite. The other girlie, whom was currently knocked out and not talking, thankfully, was resting on a near by table behind the watcher The old bloke himself had his eyes closed.opps!  
  
The blond vampire quickly shut his eyes before Willow could begin. The witch started, her voice soft. " Goddess Osiris I call on thee; bid us good favor and allow us back what is ours. She is the powerful turned meek for love; she is helpless in her mortal plan. Grant us, lift her tortured and starve soul from the nether and again reunite it with the body."  
  
Conjuring spell, always overwritten.  
  
A quick wind picked up in the store, it seemed to circle around the small group and disrupt the trinkets and incense in the center. Buffy's long blond hair tangled in the steadily growing breeze, her face that of a solid statue as the red headed witch continued. The candles had been blow out now, the room was darker then before save the light coming in through the large window in the front of the store. Giles looked as though he was asleep, he sat with both of the girl's hands in his. He was obviously concentrating very hard, he took this way to seriously Spike thought. The vampire opened one eye a sliver to look at willow. Her Buffy, the witches hair was dancing in the air, she continued to talk, only louder now then before. " Osiris, here we have four, two of the powerful of mortal realm and two of the powerful through lineage, through blood The wise, the cunning, the pure and the strength. We implore, bring back the wanderer."  
  
At these few words, a light, faint at first, started to glow in the ceiling above the four. It grew in size as the powerful wind continued to pick up around them. Like a ripple in a pool of water the light swirled into a growing portal of energy, the spell was working. The light was almost blinding, spike squinted his eyes at it as he looked up, both eyes opened now. The vampire raised an eyebrow in confusion when he felt, to his right, Buffy squeezing his hand. He turned his head and looked at her when she had stopped. The Slayers features were glowing radiantly from the unnatural light from above their heads.  
  
Buffy opened her eye slowly; the same bright light from above evident in the iris before fading away.  
  
He must have been seeing things. " Slayer?" He shook her hand lightly. " Slayer what's the matter pet. it's only a ." he was cut off, a rush of light from the portal above hitting his chest and sending his head knocking back from the force. He dangled his head for a moment and then dragged it back up slowly; it felt like a sudden bolt of electricity only something was in him, something filling him. It felt odd, but not abnormally so, a pain in his throat and a feeling of emptiness in the pit of his stomach, it felt familiar but why?  
  
" William?" The voice was soft, Buffy, but still not sounding like her at all. " William is that you, what in gods name happened to your hair?"  
  
Lilth?  
  
Willow still spook, eye closed as the portal only manifested its colors and shapes, spitting out rays of light around the shop iridescently. One hit the main counter top where the cash machine was, Anya wouldn't have liked that; another disappeared into the bookshelves.  
  
The vampires' eyes widened and slowly, Spike let go of Giles's hand and brought it up to Buffy's cheek, leaning in so her could look in her eyes. Her eyes hadn't been blue before had they? " Lilith, Buffy? What's. what's happening?"  
  
" I forgot to tell you something a long time ago, I'm thankful I get to tell you now, but I have to hurry."  
  
" What, what do you need to say Lil?"  
  
" Remember when, that night you came, saved me from Robert and then asked me to come to London with you?" He nodded immediately." I never got to tell you how much I loved you, I wanted to for so long but I couldn't. You deserve so much happiness William."  
  
" No, Lily, I loved you more then anything. When you left. I was eighteen. but there wasn't a reason to go on. I changed after you left. I went to London still but I became something of a man today I'm not to proud of. You were my reason for living my life the way that I did back t'en. You gave me courage to do things I. I couldn't do again until after I was dea- until dru-"  
  
"You sound different, you look different, and can I ask you a question?" He nodded again. "Are you different then you were before?" She lifted her hand and put it to his chest, just to the right over his heart. " Why are you still here and your heart isn't beating?"  
  
"The only thing that kept me going was knowing I'd find someone else like you in time. I thought that I had. but- then one night It didn't hurt so much because I was offered as much time as I needed. When my heart stopped beating though, the pain of your loss was gone as well and I wasn't the same. I forgot about you after that. maybe even admittedly before then too. I've changed so much.. God. but, I feel different now, ah it hurts now. I want to die."  
  
" No, no William you do that and I'll bloody well gives you a wallop!" He chuckled, looking down and back up once. It was still Buffy, but she wasn't Buffy, she was Lilith. Everything was there down to the last smart-alecky remark, accent, and blue eyes. " Love. Always, its was makes you stronger then anyone. It's what will give me peace.. If I know that you loved me and that you can love someone again as you did me, then I'll be the happier for it. I want you to be happy, that's all I want. You're my William now, not what you have become. But, it will go away as I will. Your friend on the table will live, just remember what I said, and live, even if your body is dead. I don't understand why you love on when your soul is stranded in the other realm, but I do know that inside, soul or no soul, you still human. Human enough to realize I'm right. I have to go now."  
  
" No, no Lilith don't go. I'll."  
  
" Shh.. remember what I said, it won't hurt for very much longer." She bent forward and kissed him on the lips, the light above there heads brightening to it fullest just before it deemed away. It was once again dark in the magic shop.  
  
Slowly, Buffy once again opened her eyes. The first thing she noticed was a light fad from Spikes eyes as he looked to her, kindly, softly. The second thing she noticed was his soft, cool hand on her cheek, it was almost soothing, she was tempted to stay.  
  
"How's the money?" Anya sat up on the table, her hand clutching the side of her head as if she had acquired a sudden headache. Not noticing the intimate sitting position Spike and Buffy were in, Giles and Willow stood up and walked over to her.  
  
Buffy herself looked to the peroxide blond once more before she too stood and joined the other at the table.  
  
"You alright An?" The witch held her hand, helping her off the table.  
  
Anya twirled her legs over the side of the table." Yeah, I'm fine. but I saw what you were doing, there were shiny bolts of light whizzing around the room. Conjuring spirits back to a persons body is dangerous, there could be consequences."  
  
Giles fixed his shirt and glasses as he stood by. " Yes, but you weren't dead, the risk was minimal, it wasn't as nearly as saver as it could have been if we hadn't had the right components." He gestured to Buffy and Willow.  
  
Buffy nodded, "It's ok An, we're ok.and done, I just hope that Xander and Tara are ok."  
  
Anya's eyes widened in realization. " Oh no, Xander, what if."  
  
"He's not." The red headed witches power of telepathy was growing stronger everyday. " They're just walking back, they can't fine the demon. it's gone."  
  
Buffy turned around to the rest of the room to thank Spike. "Speaking of gone." He was. 


	9. Flashback9

Chapter 9  
  
London, 1308 Bovelo drive. Mary Baker's Psychiatric treatment and understanding:  
  
November 14th, 1880:  
  
It was late and she needed to go home to her husband and daughter. Even though her daughter was a teenager, London still wasn't a safe place at night, especially for a girl.  
  
In this state of age in time, being a woman was a hard thing to be, but Mary Elizabeth Baker was a stubborn woman. She had wanted to become a psychologist all her life, and she had fought a long and hard battle to convince her father to let her get the schooling she needed at home for it. Considering there were no schools spacifically for girls around these parts, private schooling was the only way to go. But she had built a good life for herself never the less and had a wonderful family and tried to spend as much time as she could at home. She wanted to get home tonight, that was, if she ever got done with all this paperwork tonight.  
  
Her new patient William seemed nice, a few minor guilt and trust issues, but nothing that he couldn't get over in time and help. Although, she was getting worried, after there session two days ago, she hadn't seen him the following day like she had expected. Darkness had set in all but an hour ago and it was now ending on another day. The light from a near by candle the only thing that would enable her to see her papers.  
  
Being as it was fall, it was rather chilling outside in the streets, not so much that you would need an extra coat, but just enough to close the windows.  
  
That's why it puzzled Mary when the candle flickered harshly all of a sudden and then finally blew out. With a frustrated sigh, the lights now off, the room now covered in a deep, thick blanket of darkness as it was outside; she searched around with his hands for the filing cabinet drawer handle. Surly there must be another match in there somewhere. Once finding the handle, finally, she opened it with a smooth slid and dipped her hand into the drawer, finding a match almost immediately. She picked up the thin piece of wood and struck it against the side of her countertop igniting the small flame. Carefully, she lit the wick of the candle that had gone out, covering the yellow flame with her palm in insure that it would not blow out again.  
  
She looked up when she had finished, William stood before her in the darkness, his eyes a dule, lifeless blue. It startled her and Mary dropped the dead match to the desktop. "Oh! William." She breathed a moment, putting his hand to her chest. " You startled me. your back, thank god." He nodded solemnly, cocking his had to one side slowly, questioning her with his eyes. She didn't notice. " I say, it's a tad late in the evening for a talk, but, if you like I could spare a moment for you if you'd like to sit and."  
  
He chuckled lightly, interrupting her." That's alright."  
  
She looked confused as he walked toward her around the small desk, only half his face illuminated in the light, the other half bathed in complete darkness. He was intimidating her now, was he doing this on purpose? " Oh, then what can I help you with then?"  
  
" I just wanted to tell yew somet'en." He was so cold, and didn't sound the same either; his voice was less proper, like he was using slang now, like those cockney boys down at the market she went to use sometimes. He moved his fingers lightly over the lacquered surface of her desktop as he came closer. She was getting scared.  
  
" Alright, um.th.then could it not wait until later. Possibly tomorrow?"  
  
" No!" he said immediately. " I have other. things. to do tonight as well and I don't fancy wasting many more of my precious moments here." He came closer; he was now on the side of the desk, standing before her but a foot away. " But I'd wager you want me gone. go ahead doc, say it." He smirked again, hands crossed behind his back. He didn't wait for a replay. "Not to worry though luv, I have to go, but I wanted to tell you something. I wanted to tell yew that I found what I wanted." He stepped closer, inches from her.  
  
Mary leaned back in her chair, almost ready to fall back out the other side. "That's. that's wonderful William. what is it?" The stutter in her voice was enough to be recognized as fear.  
  
He grabbed her neck and lifted her into the air with one movement, pounding her back into the desktop with a loud pound. She shrieked out in pain once before William covered her mouth with the other hand. " Shh." he looked her in the eyes back and forth, studying her fear, his fingers tightening around her small warm throat. " It brilliant, really doc, how. getting killed could make you feel so alive." That said, and with a quick turn of the wrist, the vertebra in the psychologists' neck snapped into two and she was dead. Her limb body lay on her desktop, arms dropped to the side of her, eyes opened into slits looking somewhere. Not that he needed the air now, but he sighed, over enthusiastic about his kill. " You should try it doc, it's almost. therapeutic." He walked to the door and into the hallway. He stood only a moment before a figure in the dark behind him walked out, circling her fingers around her neck, trailing them down his chest until her face could be seen in the dim light of the hallway lamps.  
  
" She called you that name again.Spike."  
  
" Why yew think I killed the bint, Dru." 


	10. Flashback10

Chapter 10  
  
" So is Anya going to be ok?"  
  
The redhead nodded as she took hold of her luc-warm coffee from the nightstand next to here bed. They had come back to the dorms later that night, rested, and morning had dawned. They were trying to drink themselves back into consciousness. "Yeah, she woke up and seemed fine, when Xander came back they.um.left and that's the last I've heard. As far as I know, that demon is still out there, but Giles said that it's probably underground and moving somewhere else by now. Otherwise the spell worked, although some side effects did happen, everything went without a hitch."  
  
" I'd." Yawn. "Say." The slayer muttered; she walked on over. " Side effects is right, I mean, when the girl over took me, I felt so much sorrow and love for Will--Spike. and also a need to go shopping."  
  
" Well I didn't see much, but I did hear something's.it sounded like this girl was in love with Spike.. before he was Mr. bad vampire." Willow said half awake although intrigued over everything that had happened. " She said his old name, William."  
  
" I know, it was weird," The slayer replied. " She loved him so much. I kinda feel sorry that she should have see what he's really like as a vampire."  
  
" Actually, he wasn't acting like himself either, he was acting.concerned and dare I say in human and love?"  
  
" Were talking about Spike here Will." Buffy Anne Summers, always the optimist.  
  
" I know. Well, I was trying to figure out what happened all morning, why Spike was acting the way he was. I think since you got the soul of that girl, who ever she was, that maybe he got a soul too. his old soul that is. His human soul. Like Angel. but temporarily. I'm sure it's gone now."  
  
"He did seem kinda out of it when he left. He kind of left without a word when Anya was waking up. He's back to his old self by now."  
  
The witch curled her lips in a smile over the side of the mug of her coffee, watching Buffy thinking hard about her late enemy. "He take the money?"  
  
The slayer turned. 


	11. Flashback11

Chapter 11  
  
With a loud bang the lock to Spikes crypt door unhinged. Indirect sunlight flowed into the darker parts of the corners of the mausoleum. Buffy stepped inside not bothering to close the door behind her, her hands buried deep inside the pockets of her red leather waist high jacket, her fingers wrapped tightly around a wad of cash inside one of the pockets.  
  
She was a little pissed, ok, a lot pissed. Why'd he have to lock that door anyway?  
  
"Spike? Spike! You know if someone's going to possess me.. I'd like a little background information on that person before they inhabit my inners and can control my toes.like a vanilla file or something. a police file. and don't think I don-. Spike?" Looking around she didn't see the bleached blond she was looking for. The slayer stepped into the middle of the room and looked around before finding the trap door opened in front of a coffin. She moved toward it and stepped onto the ladder climbing down steadily.  
  
Once reaching the third step to the bottom she heard a voice, very soft, almost a whisper. She stood still as she heard.  
  
"Go.Away."  
  
She turned to see where the voice had come from, but not able to locate it, she stepped down finally to the ground. "Spike?" She moved forward. He hadn't even bothered to light more then a few candles. Some parts of the tomb down here were covered in complete darkness, the smell of dirt and earth wafting in the air.  
  
Buffy cringed slightly as she moved forward. This all seemed very foreboding, even for Spike. If it wasn't for being the slayer and knowing Spike had a chip in his head, this would have scared the ba-jesus out of her.  
  
"I'm not going to hurt you Spike, I just want to talk. about earlier last evening" She paused a moment, then continued after not getting a reply. " Look, I'll admit it, it wigged me out ok, there, you got me, be happy you scared the living day lights out of a slayer already. I just wanted to ask you some questions. Me and Willow.. well, actually I was wondering.. about you." Again she paused, continuing to step lightly on the dirt floor, circling around pillars trying to find the elusive vampire. " Ok, if you don't want to talk. then I will and you can listen." She sighed, looking around the room, making sure to perk her ears to hear any sounds being made. " I know it must have been hard. As much as I heard, I think she must have been special to you."  
  
Still not sound. "You help us sometimes now and I guess we owe you tonight for Anya. I don't know why you agreed to do it, but you did anyway and I won't forget it. Because of you, someone innocent will live the rest of their life to the fullest and I.I guess." She sighed heavily. " I guess you need time to your.  
  
"Anya's alright?" The slayer spun on her heel to leave but instead came face to face with the vampire in question. She didn't look surprised.  
  
He scoffed and moved to his bed, sitting down, now visible in the dim light of candles before her.  
  
Buffy followed him with her eyes around, before facing him. She relaxed a little. "Yeah, Anya's fine. who was the girl that was. in me?"  
  
" I loved her." he looked up beneath his eyebrows. " That's what you wanted to know right?"  
  
She nodded, walking over and standing before him. " Who was she?"  
  
" Someone I loved, someone I wanted to forget and up till last night had done so successfully. But it doesn't matter," He clinched his jaw before taking in the necessary breath to speck again. " She died because of me you know."  
  
" You killed her?"  
  
" No!" he sat up instantly, sounding angry. "She died because I. I loved her. Puppy love it damn well was. I was a human, young too. I was such a bloody fool. She tried to run and her bow. he shot her that night."  
  
"Spike, that's not your fault."  
  
" If I had never gotten involved, just done everything I was suppose to, stayed with my book obsessed, croquet playing, spectacle carrying crowd, if I had never loved Lil the way I did. the way kids do without thought of consequence. she would have stayed alive." He glanced to the floor. "That's the facts luv, story of my life. Cause and bloody effect. I don't care one way or the other that you got possessed by her now because.. it's over."  
  
"What's over?"  
  
"I'm moving, I'm getting out of this hell hole of a town. tomorrow."  
  
Buffy could only sit down to the bed, staring up at him, head tilted the way that it seemed only blonds can.  
  
She perked her shoulders into a proper sitting position, sighed and muttered questionably. "Can I ask you just one more question before you leave?"  
  
"What?'  
  
"You wore glasses?"  
  
Spike turned his head and looked to Buffy slowly. before spreading the widest smile she had ever seen on him before then. 


End file.
